Extreme couponers really piss me off.
There. I said it. Everyone else in WalMart is thinking it to, so bite my ass.
I was behind a woman today who literally became angry when she couldn’t double purchase mustard on the same coupon. Lady, it pretty much goes without saying that 10 cents will only be taken off one mustard because, well…. IT SAYS SO ON THE DAMN COUPON. And really? Do you NEED four bottles of mustard?! That’s a lot of mustard! Unless you’re backing an orphanage or are feeding, you know, THE DUGGARS, I think it’s safe to say you don’t need four bottles of mustard. She argued that, “Krogers ALWAYS double punches my coupons.” Well get on over to Krogers then! Y’ello!
She continued to haggle with the cashier over four boxes of muffins and a few bottles of Buffalo Hot Sauce (why would anyone ever..??), leaving her in a super-duper good mood for the rest of us WalMart shoppers. Thanks a lot, lady. Thanksomuch. I checked out with my Gain detergent & French bread and made my way out of the store. The woman behind me applauded my short-lived buy… and then proceeded to pull out her own coupon book. As I was headed to my car I saw coupon bitch climb into her brand new Toyota Corolla. Guess I can see why she needed another ten cents off her mustard. NOT.
I guess what I just don’t understand is the frenzy for coupons that has gone into effect. I mean, is that five dollar rebate off your one-thousand dollar leaf blower really gonna save your ass when all is said & done? Uh, probably not. Gimme a coupon for two dollars off five dollar mascara & we’ll talk. But 25 cents off of five dollar shampoo? pshhh. Keep that shit! That’s just something extra for me to lug around in my already bulging wallet (it’s probably old receipts, not money — don’t rob me on the skreet mmkay???). And I’m finding that while not all people are rude in their couponing acts, more & more are getting that way. And it’s getting old… quick.
It is senseless to behave like a horse’s ass because you can’t triple coupon on a cheese stick. Hell, it’s senseless to behave like that over anything! Didn’t your parents raise you better than that? If I acted like some of you my mother would knock me into aisle three! It isn’t the cashier’s (I’m sure there’s a more politically correct term for this, but come on.. seriously) fault that you can’t read the fine print anymore than it’s his or her problem that the manufacturer only wants you to have so much off of what ever item! It paysto be friendly. Just yesterday, in fact, while checking out at Albertsons, I got a free Coke. That’s right, guys. Free. And no, I didn’t have a coupon. But the lady behind the counter commented on how friendly I was and what a relief it was, yadda yadda… and the Coke I was willing to buy I got FOR FREE. Hells yeah! And I don’t know if you know this, but Albertson’s is proud of their groceries — they’re expensive as hell. But I got out of there $1.59 less out of pocket because I asked how someone’s day had been. Did I want to hear a life story? Not really. But she needed to talk, I wanted my Coke, and we both got what we wanted (FOR FREE!).
So, really guys. Cool it with five cents off this and ten cents off that. A penny saved is NOT a penny earned — it’s a penny that’s being hoarded. And really, who likes pennies anyway?