Ohhhhh, y’all. I swear to goodness I haven’t fallen off the face of the planet. Although, to be honest, there have been a few days in the past few months that I’ve wished that were a possibility. Things have been stir-crazy, man. Like, ridonkulous.
For starters, Gabe started pre-k. That, my friends, was a nightmare in and of itself. I’m a total newb in the “send your kid off to school,” thing. Yeah, sure, Gabe’s been in daycare since before he was even walking. But daycare and pre-k? Totally different balls of wax, dude. Totally. For one thing, uniforms are mandatory in our school district. Translated: Goodbye, wallet! Because not only am I buying
uniforms not at all uniform khakis and polos, I’m also chucking out moolah for honest-to-God street clothes (jeans and shirts, guys — I’m not equipping him with do-rags and chains, yo). Secondly, why the hell is bloody pre-k so expensive?!
- Obligatory t-shirt fees (no shit).
- Memory book fees (again — no shit).
- Field trip fees (already).
- Lunch fees (RIDICULOUS, by the way).
- School supply fees.
- School supplies.
I’m dying, man. DY-ING. And hey! Why we’re at it, why not throw in a fundraiser! ALREADY! Good God Almighty!
But before all the money-throwing woes, there was a fear that Gabe might not get into pre-k. Which we needed. Gabe thrives off interaction from other kids and I felt that this would be a really good experience for him. Thankfully, it wasn’t an issue at all and I was given the go-ahead to start throwing money at Target and various children’s clothing stores. Oh, did I tell you? Target has made me their new mascot in replacement of the cute little dog. It’s only fair being that I’ve spent a fortune at the store in the past few months on school crap and that little sawed-off dog bastard hasn’t bought a damn thing. Cheap ass.
Anyway. Gabe’s in pre-k and loving it (they made applesauce yesterday and he was beyond excited) and I’ve only gotten
one two phone calls from his poor, exasperated teacher. Ms. Rose has no idea what’s she’s in for. God bless her. Also, my big kid is riding the school bus every morning and it just tickles him to death. I’ll be honest, I was a little nervous letting him ride in the mornings, but he was so excited and so I figured what the hell. Thankfully all has gone well on that spectrum. He thinks it’s just the coolest thing ever (next to fire trucks and the ambu-lance), and to be honest? I think he’s pretty cool for being a big kid and being all fearless and stuff. I’m both proud and grieved — my big boy is growing up and my baby is taking off. Sigh. Guess it had to happen sooner or later, right?
In other news, we’ve had Connor! And he has stolen our hearts. Gabe just loves him and Evan is as proud as he can be. I kind of like him, I suppose. I mean, he’s cute and all. I guess we’ll keep him. He’s such a tiny little thing (compared to Gabe, anyway, who was a total chunk) and is so quiet and laid back. He very nearly sleeps thorough the night already (what what!) and has a smile (and gas) as big as Texas. He’s pretty much perfect and healthy and completely loved. And I’m totally digging that I can see my toes again. In keeping with the on-going changes in our lives, Evan and I are getting married at the end of October. Just a JOP thing for now — we’ll have a wedding in a year or so. But we figure why wait? I’d rather have a great marriage than a nice wedding any day. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to have a wedding eventually. I’ve been planning my wedding since before I was out of grade school. But if I’d rather not wait on a name change just because we’ll be weddingless for the time being. Mrs. Paul has a nice ring to it. Plus, I can get a new Hasting’s card and not have anymore late fees to contend with. Bonus! Only kidding, guys. It’s the library’s late fees that I’m really excited about dodging.
To wrap things up, we are still in the Money Pit. We’re beyond ready to be out, and in five more months we can kiss this garbage goodbye. We’re hoping (key word there) to buy our first little place in February or March, so fingers crossed. Since last I wrote, we’ve (still) had major issues with plumbing, septic systems, and general maintenance that shouldn’t take an act of Congress to get fixed. No kidding — at the beginning of the month I let our property manager know that our sink in the kitchen was leaking pretty badly and the toilet in the guest bathroom was running constantly. I let her know when I paid her our ridiculous rent in hopes that she would maybe move her ass and get on the ball. Yeahhhhh, right. Two weeks later I call her to inquire as to when we could be expecting someone out, to which she admitted she had forgotten and she would get the “maintenance guy” out. Yeah, he came out. And he put a friggin bowl under our sink to catch the water. Swift thinking, guy. Unfortunately that won’t lower our utility bill. So fix your shit! Eventually, it was fixed. Eventually. As in last week. So you can bet your big toe that we’re ready to get the hell out of here. Maybe if we do pick a fight with Syria they’ll send a nuke over to land on this place. Only kidding, government. Don’t get your panties in a wad.