2013. Oh, you’ve been eventful. So much has changed — not much remains untouched by your presence. One thing uncontrolled by your rapidity — yet, altered still: my momma-bear love for my little ones.
My boys have grown so; even my Connor in his short little life. Gabe’s laugh continues to fill a room and Con’s lovely smile brightens dreary days — both little bodies warming our hearts and providing a constant reminder of what an enchanted, and sometimes monotonous, love really is. I so love, and envy, their growth; for they see things in a way I’ve long since forgotten.
But this momma bear sees more than just their childlike innocence; I am not blind to the chaos and utter sleeplessness that little ones can bring. Hardly. I have been brought to complete agitation by disappointing news and pre-k hardships. Left in zombie-like conditions by 3 o’clock feedings and teething pains. Brought to my knees and sometimes bewildered laughter by incidental growing pains felt by parent and child alike. No, I am not ignorant of these things. I am all too aware. But coupled with these sometimes back-breaking moments of sheer chaos and backwards steps are the wonderful and enlightening learned mobility I see in my kids. And those, truly, make every sleepless night and heartache dissipate — even if just for a moment.
Oh, though I love my little ones, this year has not been without its frustrations. I have growled and snarled; been the gruffest of momma’s. I have not always been patient, nor have I consistently been kind. I have misunderstood; I’ve snapped when instead I should have clung to. But nevertheless, this old momma bear, even in her snarliest of ways, loves the little ones that I am privileged to call my own.
Upon entering 2014, we look to new beginnings, trials and errors. Hopeful that this year brings forth good news and revelations. And in hindsight, I hope we remember the good of the Old. To sweet union, new life, and delightful hopes and dreams — we say Happy New Year and God Bless.
And to you gruff momma bears out there — Cheers.