No, seriously; our car was totaled back in November, so we “broke down” and saddled up with a used Honda Odyssey. I’m not even going to lie — I loved it in spite of myself. The space! The lack of noise! THE FREAKING DVD PLAYER. Omigosh, y’all. The DVD player. Which we only used, like, 45% of the time since my darling oldest child has been on-again, off-again grounded from screens since…. well, November. But, still. . . . when we were able to turn that sucker on, it was like heaven. Static-y heaven on those long road trips that are always supposed to be fun but turn in to a giant train wreck. You know the kind. You load the kids up, every body is good and ready to go, and 2 hours and 40 pee breaks later, you wish you’d have just said, “Screw it,” and gone to Chuck E. Cheese, instead.
Anyway. 2016 will forevermore be known in the Paul house as “The Year of the Car”. You guys may recall that my Mazda bit the dust back in May. Fast forward to the Jeep, which ran like a champ (because, Jeep) until a girl in a Corolla hit me at highway speed, thereby totaling car numero dos. We found the Honda for exactly what the Jeep totaled for and, because I’m painfully cheap and didn’t want to deal with another bill, we sprung for her. We bought it “as is” which, in hindsight, had red flags all over the place. But our rental had run out and we needed wheels, so it seemed like a godsend at the time. And really, I suppose it was. It got us through until tax season and now I’m back to my roots in a Mazda 5, which I love. It’s still a minivan of sorts, but much smaller and gets better gas mileage, so I’m all about it. There’s no DVD player and not as much space, but it’s still a third row and it doesn’t break down due to rain (you read that right. RAIN). I don’t know about y’all, but I’ll take lack of entertainment for my kids over getting pulverized in rush hour traffic any day.
My kids think I’m Betty Badass since I’m on car number four in less than a year (nevermind that they’re older models, paid off, and total mom-wagons). The faculty at my kids’ school probably think I’m Pot-Dealer Paige because… come on. Four vehicles, less than a year (nevermind that they’re older models, paid off, and total mom-wagons). I think I’ve been jinxed. Four cars in less than a year. Do y’all know how much TT&L I’ve paid? I’m over it. All I can say is the new Mazda, affectionately known as, “Please Little Red Don’t Die On Me”, will be treated with kid gloves and better last until my kids need cars of their own. I’m just not high maintenance enough to enjoy perpetual car shopping. I swear, if she dies it might break me. I’m not above putting my fat ass on a bicycle, y’all. Not. Above. It.