Beachin’: A Paul Family Vacation

Beachin’: A Paul Family Vacation

We had our first family vacation on Labor Day weekend.  We’ve taken little trips here and there, but we’ve never done “vacay”.  There was always something: kids too little, weather’s bad, “lets STAYcation instead”…. you know the drill.  Anyhow, we took the kids to Pensacola for the weekend and they LOVED it.  I loved it.  And don’t say anything, but no matter how much he denies it, the hubs had fun, too.

I’m not even going to lie: I was plumb nervous about our first (and possibly last) family vacation.  The kids are still small and beaches are notoriously crowded and what if they gripe about the sand in their buttcracks, etc.  But the beaches weren’t that crowded and the kids didn’t gripe about the sand (much).  We went to Fort Pickens, which Gabe fell in love with since he’s all about soldiers these days, and Connor is my true-blue beach bum.  He had so much fun “swimming” in the ocean with Ev and building sandcastles with Bubba.  I’m not big on beaches (GASP!), but I’m a sucker for seeing my kids let loose and have a good time.  We all thoroughly enjoyed ourselves but by the time Sunday rolled around we were ready to be back home to wash off the sand and sleep in our own beds.

The trip to Pensacola was a doozy.  The kids were fantastic (Connor slept most of the way there), but the traffic through Baton Rouge was horrendous.  About 9 hours into what was supposed to be a five hour trip, the kids started getting restless.  Luckily, I’d brought some of their favorite reads and, so we wouldn’t have to stop at every rest stop for snacks, snack kits.  The little kits were simple but proved to be SUPER fab to have once we were all in the truck together for 10+ hours.

I just used Ziploc mini containers and picked up the kids’ snack faves from Target and packed them into a carry-on.  Best thing I’ve ever done in my whole life, probably.  Those of you who have hongry kids know what I mean and that it’s no exaggeration.  You go prepared, or you pretty much commit parental suicide.

We finally made it to Florida and I swear to you I’ve never been so grateful to see that state line.  I’m twenty-seven years old and I felt like an antsy toddler come 10:30 Friday evening.  I thought I was going to kill Evan when he made an “emergency” pit stop for freaking Taco Bell.  But we made it to the hotel and wasted no time resting up for the next day.  Saturday came super early (Connor was up and at ’em by 6 o’clock), so we got dressed, ate some breakfast, and headed for the beach.

 

We spent a good part of the day beachin’ and sight seeing, then returned to the hotel with two EXTREMELY tired little guys for some much-needed naps.  Let me take a minute to say just how proud I am of the boys’ behavior.  I know I said earlier there was some nervousness, but my goodness they were fantastic.  They both kept their hands to themselves and didn’t touch anything they weren’t supposed to.  Gabe even asked some really great questions about the forts and batteries at Fort Pickens.  To say I was, and still am, impressed is an understatement.  Good to know we can take them places without fear of embarrassment or having to fork over hundreds of dollars in the event of a disaster (i.e.: breaking a priceless artifact, etc.).  Thumbs up and gold stars from this momma!

We spent most of Sunday at the beach and perusing the streets of downtown Pensacola.  Our checkout time was at eleven, but we left a bit earlier so we could maybe catch some sights on the way home and beat the Labor Day traffic back to Cenla.  The drive home was a bit more trying for the four of us who, by that point, were sick to death of being in such close proximity to one another.  We all went crazy at some point or another but managed to squeeze in one more stop in Abita Springs.  Enter the Abita Mystery House.  Gabe LOVED it, Connor wasn’t all that impressed, and my nerd husband enjoyed it more than he thought he would.  It was neat, but I was more into being able to stretch my legs one last time before we hit Alexandria.  Entry into the Mystery House is only $3 per person (Con got in for free) and there really are some crazy-neat things to see in there.  One of the funniest things to me was when Gabe saw a typewriter and said, “Mom… how do you see what you type?!”  Oh, Lawd.  If he only knew.

We had such a fun time with each other and, aside from a few minor frustrations, made some really great memories with the kids.  I can’t wait for our next big adventure.  Thanks for having us, Pensacola!  Until next time.

  

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Jet Plane Weekends

Jet Plane Weekends

Trying to live in the moment is hard to do when it’s rushing by you faster than a jet plane.  This weekend, though, we made sure that it went as slooowly as was humanly possible — without being all Keanu Reeves: Matrix about it.  Friday night Cate & I watched Resident Evil, parts one & two.  Most of you who know me know that I am not a zombie-watchin’ kind of girl.  Give me a good chick flick or raunchy-ish comedy any day.  But I watched them.  And they were Jurassic Park cheesy — and completely revolting — and I only checked behind my shower curtain once.

Okay twice.

Fine, I check behind my damn shower curtain every time I’m in the bathroom now.  Happy???  Geez.

Anyway.  It was a good time, though, grossing ourselves out completely.  I’ll never watch it again, but it was a good time, regardless.  Saturday we took it slow.  I made oatmeal banana pancakes (yaaay Pinterest).  Around noon I made my way over to get Gabe’s hair cut (he was such a big guy!).  At two(ish) Cate, me & the ankle biters made our way to town to blow money we didn’t need to on stuff we (unfortunately) needed and to eat Mexican with some friends.  A great time was had by all…. except for the poor bastards that wound up having to clean up after us.  We got the hell outta there before we could receive a damages check.*  Saturday evening, after the kiddos crashed, we finished off the remaining two Resident Evils and enjoyed some daiquiris (the only way I could stomach another zombie induced massacre).

This morning we zoo tripped.  We had a great time (minus a few fits) and it really made my weekend.  The weather was beautiful, the kids were pretty good, and the animals were out & about.  Of course, the kids were interested in everything but the animals.  There were waterfalls, and replicas of oil drillers, and trains… Oh, the train!  They loved the train.  Hell, I liked the train & I’m a grown woman.  But they enjoyed themselves, and we loved watching them see new things, and I think it’s safe to say that the trip was a success.  After we left there (three hours later) we headed to McDonald’s to have McNuggets & check out the play place scene (you know… the kids just had to catch up with their peeps).  We’ve been chillin’ since then, just taking in the last few hours of our weekend, trying to persuade Monday to come in late tomorrow.  Perhaps call in with the case of the dumb, Monday.  We’ll understand.

Still checking the shower curtain.

Don’t judge.

*No Mexican restraunts were greatly harmed in the production of this blog.**

**Hopefully.  We didn’t actually stick around to find out.

“Left Here” My Foot!

“Left Here” My Foot!

Well, guys.  If I didn’t know it before, I surely do now: Margot Polo I ain’t.

Catie & I went to Gonzalez to go spring shopping waste money for our growth spurt happy huge children.  Getting there was no(t much of an) issue.  Allow me to say, however, that Map Quest is shit.  We have to go through a billion towns to get anywhere, anyway.  So multiply that by 1.5 to get to Gonzalez.  We can get to Lafayette lickety split.  We know not to take an exit and all roads lead to Ambassador Caffery.  No Map Quest needed.  But Gonzalez is a different story, you see.  There are four ways to get there from Hineston, three of which are sketchy (ie: will take you through a million ghetto’s and by a shoddy looking Popeye’s) and only slightly out-of-the-way.  Instead of 1 hr 45 m, think 2 hrs 59.8 minutes.

So anyway.  We’re looking for exit 1A in Opelousas.  Lemme tell you, in case you ever get the urge to follow Map Quest to get anywhere down South, DON’T.  There is NO exit 1A in Opelousas.  Can you get to Baton Rouge-Gonzalez from there?  For serious.  Will Map Quest tell you that?  Nah, man.  They tell you that in 4.1 miles in OPELOUSAS you will find this exit.

You won’t.  It’s outside Carencro.  More accurately, it’s in LAFAY-FRIGGIN-ETTE.  Cate & I thought we had lost it & were gonna call it quits & grab a daiquiri until *hallelujah chorus* there it was!  Exit 1A!  And I only had to take out the Mystery Machine & some nuns to get over there.  But damnit, we got that shit.  So after that mini-adventure, we finally set on our way.  I completely forgot that we had to cross the Atchafalaya, and both of us really needed a bathroom (I’m no Map Quest, either); we wound up having to pee for eighteen-or-so miles.  Again, let me warn you:  pee before you get to this point.  Because A) there is no shoulder, and you’re on a bridge; B) public indecency is frowned upon even among coon-asses; & C) even if those statements weren’t true, it’s hard to run from a ‘gator with your pants around your ankles.

By the time we finally got to our exit in Gonzalez we were in agony.  Like the, “OMGwhydoesithurttowalkmybladderisn’tattachedtomylegs,” kind of misery.  But we were so glad to be there we didn’t mind.  That & they have nice restrooms.  We spent entirely too much money on clothes that we really did need and were out of there by 2:55.  It was really kind of a record for us being that we didn’t start shopping until 11ish.  We ran over shuffled over to Chili’s and then got the hell out of Dodge.  We had a blast (minus the run-in with the bitchy “customer service” lady at Old Navy) and was able to get in some adult time that we never get to have.  Don’t get me wrong, our kids are great.  But they’re loud.  And still in diapers.  And can I tell you how nice it was not to change a diaper or pull-up every hour?  It. was. UHMAYZING.

So you’re all, “That’s it?  The great adventure??  LAME!”  Negative, ghostrider.  Neguhtive.

We left Gonzalez in search of a Super Target Middle Sister wine.  Not only did we not find Super Target in Baton Rouge (my bad.. it’s in Lafayette), but we got turned around twice.  The first offense we came out unscathed & only slightly sticky due to Catie managing to squeeze a tube of lip balm all over her finger & my window.  The second one… eh.  We completely missed our exit into Lafayette (no worries, the sign’s big as Dallas if ever you venture down that way.. we’re just dumb) and wound up in RAYNE.  But “No, no Cate… our exit’s up here.”  Bologna.

Our exit most definitely wasn’t “up here.”  In CROWLEY.  Now I’m not sure if you’ve ever been to any of the back road towns in Louisiana.  Some of them are charming.  Crowley ain’t one of them.  Neither is Mamou.  Or Eunice.  And definitely not Oakdale.  We hit every. one. of. those. towns.  We stopped in Eunice for gas & beer (bad idea, by the way) and thought we were going to take home a souvenir in thug form.  Call him our token badass, I guess.  Wound up hitting Oakdale Hwy.. I’ve lived in Louisiana all my life, and in Oakdale for two years.  I had no idea Oakdale its own highway, and after driving that thing I know why now.

When we finally hit Hineston, after calling Cate’s dad twenty times, we were spent.  We finished up our day (and excellent [scenic] adventure) drinking with good friends and swearing never to go back to Gonzalez… or at least to invest in a GPS.  No lie, though, this was one of the better weekends I’ve had in a while.  We’re taking the kids’ Easter pictures Saturday and I’m totally excited for that.  I’m trying not to let it go to my head though..  Parents, you know what I’m talking about.  The more negative you go into taking pictures (sorry for the kind-of pun) the better off you’ll be.  It’s a kid’s way of saying, “You thought I was going to suck.. I’ll show you!”  Last time I was all positive & shit about Gabe’s pictures he about knocked out the photographer & we were blacklisted from JCP|Portraits.  Only kidding.  But he really did deliver a heckuva left hook.

Watch out for exit 1A… it’s a tricky little bastard.

A Smack-Down Christmas

A Smack-Down Christmas

Gabe & I made a few attempts at taking our Christmas pictures after Thanksgiving.  Here’s how the first one went down…:

jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell ro-- WHAMO!
Seriously… those have got to be the worst facial expressions either of us have ever made.  Well… maybe only recently.  Needless to say, picture taking came to an end after this.  Saturday it rained, so we went to Baton Rouge.  Got in lost in Baton Rouge.  In rainy, Baton Rouge suck-fest traffic.  FOR FOUR HOURS.  We went down with mom & dad so that dad could visit an uncle of his.  Mom & I opted to go shopping.  Attempted to, anyway.  We enjoyed ourselves, regardless… turned out to be a pretty good day.  Gabe was a rockstar (he owed me BIG from the day before), and when we finally made it to our destination, I found some super cute boots for — ready for this???– THIRTY TWO DOLLARS.  That’s right, y’all.  Thirty-two.  Not ten minutes before I found them I nearly bought some $92 dollar boots.  Those dudes were on sale, guys.  Ninety-two dollars ON SALE.  They were gorgeous.. and I really wanted them.  But my wallet clammed up & said, “Screw you, idiot!  There are cheaper boots next door!”  And, well, you just don’t argue with a clammed up wallet, right?  So next door to Charlotte Russe we went.
 
It took me five minutes to pick out the boots.  It took me twenty to get to the cashier.  And another 5 for her to figure out the computer or something.  Then she wanted to talk.  Normally I wouldn’t mind, you know?  I hate it when people are rude to cashiers.. or waiters.. or whatever.  But there were like, a million angsty, pimple-faced teenaged girls behind me who (stupidly) thought they needed the thousand pairs of thongs they were about to purchase with daddy’s credit card.. so it wasn’t exactly a primo time to pow-wow with Chatty Cathy.  I’m ashamed to say that while she was in mid-sentence I snapped up my receipt & walked away.
 
I felt like such a cow. 
 
But for crying out loud!  You’ve got the entire female LSU freshman population behind me who are still on their high from Black Friday the night before.  If you want to commit shoppers suicide, then please… go ‘head.  But I’m not game… sorry!
 
We finally made it home, where Gabe continued to be a rockstar in sleepy form.  He crashed & didn’t wake up until 7:00 the next morning.  That never happens.  I, of course, woke up at the not-so-sunny hour of 5:45, so I didn’t get to take advantage of snoozin’ it up… but I did get some quiet time to myself.  And I can I tell you?  It was uh-may-zing.  Later that day we I decided to try for more Christmas pictures.  Casey & Robby humored me & came to help out (LOVE!).  We got a few good ones, thankfully.  Not exactly what I wanted, but I’ll get what I can take with a feisty toddler.
 
rockstar!
 
 
rockstar!
The Calvin to my Hobbs

The Calvin to my Hobbs

crazy eyes!

Finally got around to taking Gabe’s birthday pictures last weekend.  Unfortunately, the little butt was in a horrendous mood.  We’ll be trying AGAIN soon… fart.

Don't let that smile fool you. He's baaaaad.
Oddly enough, I love that kid.
There was a puppy. So much for pictures!
So serious!
Here, mom. Let me cram this in your face. Just.. hold.. still...
the calvin to my hobbs.

 

FYI: One of my recommended tags?  “Puppy mills”.  WTF is a puppy mill??

Past Few Weekends in Photos

Past Few Weekends in Photos

happy birthday to my boy. ♥

 My Gabe turned two a coupl’a Saturdays back.  He was sick, bless his heart, but he was still down for a small party (only ’cause of cookie cake… but whatev’s).  We canceled the bigger shin-dig at his Aunt Casey’s due to him having staph, but s’ok.  He’s all better now.

oh, yes. he loves george.
 First thing every. damn. morning. he wants to watch Curious George.  Only, its “Joge??  Momma, Joge!”  Yes, son.  We’ll watch damned Joge.  Again.  Guess I can’t complain… turns out he makes for a damned good baby sitter.
...of all the stuff he got, the chalkboard WOULD be his fave.

 ….annnnnd the chalkboard would be the hit of the day.  I’m glad… my walls aren’t.

COOKIE CAKE! woot!

 

 Cookie cake!  Initially, I ordered a cookie cake from the mall.  For 16 people.  I canceled that dude seeing as how there were only 5 of us at home.. one of us (me) being on a diet.  So, really.. four.  Like I need a big-ass cookie cake sitting there… looking all kinds of fantastic… taunting me.  So I made him one instead.  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t take a bite.  And I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t good.  Stupid chocolate-y goodness.  I never got to take his birthday pictures, so we’ll be doing that this weekend provided it doesn’t rain (DON’T RAIN!!!).

i got to take my neice's 1st birthday pictures. 🙂 happy birthday, abi grace!

 I did have the privilege of taking my best friend’s daughter’s 1st birthday pictures. She was so good and I had a blast taking her photos! She was born a year two days after Gabe. They love each other already… I hope they continue to grow to be amazing friends!

already climbing trees? hmph. she's her momma's daughter.

 Our first stop on the agenda was my FAVORITE tree by a walking path in Alex. I got lots of good shots there, and then we made our way over to LC. By that time, it was steaming hot.  Abi was hungry. Cate was hungry. I, of course, was hungry. We were there maybe 15 minutes… and left for food. What can I say?  We’re southern girls.

 We just had Miss Abi’s 1st birthday party this past Saturday.  I have never seen such a turn out for one year old!

big ol' blue eyes.

  It looked like we knocked over Toys-r-Us after we’d finished loading up Cate’s car.  So many noisy things!  (dun dun dunnnnnnn)

i'm getting him started young. not a bad thing, right? right?!

 And lastly, Gabe has taken to is pretty much being forced to love Batman.  He’s legend.. c’mon.  Luckily, he likes him so far.  His little Batman racetrack, anyway.  According to Gabe, Batman’s car goes vrooommm.. vrooom… pshhhhhh.  haha.  Crazy kid.  So glad it’s not Gabe driving yet… or that my car doesn’t quite sound like vroommm.. vrooom.. pshhhh.

Birthday Bust

Birthday Bust

Gabe turned the big 0-2 yesterday.  Poor little thing had a bummer birthday this year.  At the beginning of the week he had a cold.  Thursday, he came up with staph.  The big birthday party we had planned went to crap, bless his heart.  It’s okay… Lord knows he has many more coming.  But all the same… who wants to be in the ER for their birthday?!

By the time we got home yesterday evening he was worn out… was in bed by 6:30 (never happens), so we celebrated the big day a day late.  He got lots of great stuff, but the hit of the day was a shocker: the Melissa & Doug chalkboard I found at The Purple Cow.  He adores it.  I was amazed… but relieved.  We finished off with pizza & a m0mma-made cookie cake.

I’m glad to say that the staph looks like it’s getting better.  Thank God.  They said yesterday if it didn’t appear to take to the antibiotics by Monday that he would probably need to be admitted.  Great timing being that I start classes tomorrow.  But God is good, and it seems to be passing.  Poor little guy is just miserable.  Now if only I could figure out where he picked up staph –that’d be great.

Anyhow, tomorrow is the beginning of my end (until December, anyway).  I think I’ll fair pretty well in both classes, but after looking over their syllabus, I know I’ll be busy for sure.  Oddly enough, I’m more concerned that I won’t be able to keep up my exercise routine when classes start getting heavy.  Thirty pounds left to go… fingers crossed that I’ll still find time.

Check Please.

Check Please.

Sorry for lack of posting.  As usual, I’ve been running my butt off (more about that later) trying to get everything done.  I’m still not finished, and the to-do list is just a-pilin’ up, but I need a second to just breathe.  And think.  Well… maybe not think so much.  I’d over-analyze a leaf if you asked me to.. better if I mindlessly ramble.

My month has been filled with engagements, weddings, a sick baby, and haggling with LSU-A over my financial aid.  I’ve been drinking with Casey & making an ass of myself on the side.  Hey, I’m working on it.  Just let me finish this beer real quick…

Engagements:  Weren’t so bad.  It was hot as hell, but we went early enough & got some good shots.  Here’s one:

Sick baby:  My poor Gabe, since having switched day cares, has stayed sick.  Sour tummy… sinus infections… you name it.  I’m still pretty pissed about all that diaper rash, but it’s getting better.  I know, I know.. it’s just diaper rash; chill.  Yeah, well.  It’s just the point, ya know?  Hell.  I’m not paying you to ensure that he comes home with diaper rash… I’m paying you to not send him back with diaper rash.  Ideally, I’d like him back in the same order in which he was sent.  Which, coincidentally, also means no bite marks anywhere on his person.  kthanks.

Wedding: Again, not too bad.  Weddings tend to be nerve-wracking, anyway… but we survived it.  It was a lovely ceremony & a nice reception.  Plus, I adore the family.  Catie’s brother & his fiance` (now wife) were married a few Saturdays ago.  All in all it was pleasant, but I’d be lying through my teeth if I told you I didn’t have a beer (or two) afterwards.

Annnnd school:  LSU-Almost has always had a knack for taking their precious time when it comes to paperwork.  Especially paperwork of the financial aid variety.  Irritating.  We finally got it straightened out, though.  And it’s a good thing considering I start back on the twenty-second.  Still haven’t gotten my books.  That’s my bad.  I’m procrastinating because I opted to sign up for two classes that are going to kick my behind, and then hand it back to me.  Nervous doesn’t begin to cover how I’m feeling about this semester.

Next weekend is my last weekend of freedom until the middle of December, not counting the weekend of the 20th.  I still have no idea what we’re doing for Gabe’s birthday, and the clock is ticking.  I’m thinking he’s still a bit young for Chuck E. Cheese.  And, let’s face it, my kid would be the one to kill the mouse.  Just sayin’.  Y’all know I’m right — quit judging me.  I’ve got most of his birthday shopping done, although none of it is wrapped.  Probably won’t happen until the day of.  Maybe.

Since the beginning of July, I’ve managed to lose 30-ish pounds.  Go me!  Unfortunately, the weight loss process has slowed down.  I’ve lost maybe five more.  I’ve got about thirty left I’d really like to lose.  I’m not discouraged yet, but I am getting impatient.  So impatient, in fact, that in addition to my walking/jogging, I’ve started killing myself with cardio.  Seriously, guys, the day after I started I prayed that my behind would just fall off.  I was SO. SORE.  It was so bad, in fact, that it hurt to even sit down.  Like the motion of sitting down, or getting to that point.  Not actually sitting.  I didn’t move a lot that day.  My butt doesn’t scream at me anymore after I work out, thankfully.. so I guess it’s either numb or used to the movement.  But I thought I was in deep trouble there for a minute.  I found muscles I thought I’d lost after giving birth!

At some point I need to take some pictures of Gabe.  Birthday pictures!  I can’t believe he’s two already.  And Abi will be one soon, herself.  Time goes by so fast!  I find sometimes that I want them to stay little forever.  Until I hear something crash to the floor, anyway.  Then I let out a few “Hail Mary’s” and pray that they’d grow right on up.

Birthdays, etc.

Birthdays, etc.

My birthday was Monday.  Whoopee.  Actually, it was a nice day and we had an even better weekend.  Last weekend some friends and I went out for my birthday a little early… this past weekend was family time.  We went to Lafayette where I had my camera fixed & whatnot.  On the way home we stopped by Prejean’s for an early birthday dinner.  Gabe, being the food connoisseur that he is, decided on the grilled cheese & french fries.  I bet you didn’t know that you must rub your grilled cheese in your hair to make it taste good.  Gabe, apparently, knew the secret and thus peeled the sandwich apart & rubbed it all in his hair.  He had Velveeta in places Velveeta should never be.  Wish I’d have thought to get a picture, but my camera was in the truck.  If you know my son, you know that his hair could easily be compared to Einstein’s ‘do.  So not only was the cheese practically glued to his head (the cheese was gooey… looked like a damn good sandwich to me — even without the hair follicles), but it was even kind of jutting out in places.  It was pretty funny, and I didn’t really mind since we were only going home anyway.  We ended Saturday on an excellent note, and fell asleep in the chair watching — you guessed it– Frasier.  Pure happiness.  🙂

Monday Gabe & I woke bright & early to take his old bed to the Salvation Army.  My boy is in his own “big boy bed”, complete with big boy sheets (sports themed, of course.  but what else for a growing quarter back??).  Before heading out, however, there was the struggle of fitting a rather large baby bed into my rather tiny Mazda 3.  She thought she had won the battle, but in the end, I won.  Guess who won’t be doing that ever again.  I think I’d have had an easier time toting it onto the city bus than cramming it into my car.  But we got it up there, and thankfully it came out much more gracefully than it went in.  Afterward, we went to Aunt Casey, Aunt Neen & Uncle Dale.  We had a nice visit, so of course it only seemed right to ruin our high spirits with a trip to Wal-Mart.  I don’t know why I do it to myself.  When we finally got home, we enjoyed a nice lunch of bar-b-que’d ribs, potato salad, and garlic bread (my favorite part).  I even made cupcakes.  Because, you know, I’m painfully thin & all.  psh.

 

Dark chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter buttercream.  OMIGOSH.  Freakin’ awesome.  Gabe even had one — sans the peanut butter icing.  His was just buttercream.  🙂  But this is how I found him:

 

Pretty sure he liked it.  He’ll be okay to have peanut butter when he’s (officially) two.  So for his birthday I’m planning on making him banana cupcakes (he loves bananas. I about have to blindfold him when walking through the produce section lest he burst into tears) with the same buttercream.  Think that’ll be pretty good.  But that’s two months away… I think I’ve got a little time to plan.

Happy Wednesday… we’re almost there!

Buzz Kill

Buzz Kill

I taught my son how to hunt today.  How to hunt horse flies, that is.  One flew into the house somehow, and I spent probably close to thirty minutes swatting at and chasing it with a broom.

Yes, a broom.  Give me a break… he was a big’n!  I still haven’t gotten him.  Had it not been Gabe’s bath time I’d have gone all Rambo & decked out with a bandana & war paint to boot.  I did, however, enlist Gabe in the finding & killing of the horse fly.  I’m ashamed to say that I let my child roam through the house naked in hopes that maybe, JUST MAYBE, it would fly along and Gabe would pee on it.  No such luck.  In fact, Gabe wasn’t much help.  I’d swat at the fly in a fruitless effort to get ’em, and he would die with laughter.  Seriously… he was cracking up!  And I guess had I been watching myself I’d have laughed, too.  It probably looked pretty funny… some crazy lady seemingly swatting at the air and a little naked guy following her laughing hysterically.  Definitely YouTube material.  Who’d have thought one evening could sum up the last few weeks of my life?  Go figure.

Anyway.  Mother’s Day for the two of was:
A) Uneventful
B) Hectic
C) Inspiring.

If you answered “B”, congratulations.  You win.  What do win?  ….how’s a pat on the back sound?  From 6:00am Sunday to 9:00pm that evening, we were up & running.  I even made the mistake of going to Wal-Mart.  Bet you didn’t know that Mother’s Day is the busiest day of the year at Wal-Mart… second only to deer season.  I saw more people piling out of there with flowers than I care to think about.  Here’s a hint for next year guys:  If you wait until the day of to buy your mom a gift, flowers just will not cut it.  You must a) buy her a car & b) pay off her home loan.  If she doesn’t owe anything on her home, option “b” becomes void & you must buy her a new home.  Hey, don’t blame me… it’s not my fault you forgot your mom.  And speaking from someone who is officially a mom?  We don’t expect anything… really, we don’t.  But since we did push you out of our uterus, it would be nice if you could at least throw a card our way saying “Thanks for pushing me out of your uterus.”  Ok, that would be inappropriate.  A simple “Thanks, mom” would be great.

Food for thought.

Oh, Lord. THIS WAS ME!